More humourous news clips from around the world, you can see them every weekend on ITV's Teletext page 324.

A British climber whose attempt to conquer the world's 14 highest peaks was foiled by a sneeze vowed to return next year to complete his mission. Alan Hinkes was airlifted from the base camp of the 26,660ft Nanga Parbat, in northern Pakistan, locally known as the "Killer Mountain". Hinkes pulled a muscle in his back when he sneezed while eating on the mountain.

American national security officials systematically lied to explain reports of UFOs at the height of the Cold War, a study released by the CIA says. It admitted most reports of UFOs stemmed from glimpses of supersecret US spy planes, the U-2 and the SR-71 Blackbird. Rather than disclose their existance, false stories were put out.

A teenager who won a share of a 1.6m Lottery draw plans to use the windfall to increase the size of her breasts. "I'm going to have a boob job," said Nicky Clift, 18, who scooped a 110,968 share of a win with her collegues at a Lancashire cardboard factory. Nicky, who expects the operation to cost her 3,000, said: "I've wanted one for ages."

Bermuda Governer Thorold Masefield signed into law the Prohibited Restaurants Bill, the final step in banning McDonald's from the colony. The bill bannedd fast-food restaurants, but does not name any chains specifically. There is one fast-food restaurant in Bermuda, a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet which opened in the 1970's.

A tearful toddler sent out an airborne SOS after his teddy-bear floated away from his brother's birthday party tied to six helium balloons. Yellow-furred Brickstone was last seen taking to the skies after slipping out of Arthur Brooker's grasp outside his house in Long Ashton, near Bristol. Mum Lucy tied her phone number on another balloon and sent it after him.

Chinese tired of being short can turn to Dr Xia Hetao to make them taller through limb-lengthening surgery. Xia normally performs such operations to correct limb deformities but some people unhappy with their height have sought him out for cosmetic surgery. One such patient included an aspiring model hoping to reach the height requirement for modelling school.

A nun riding a motor scooter through images of models in slinky underwear drove Sister Angela McArthur to fire off angry letters. "Will the TV ever be able to refrain from abusing religious freedoms and rights?" she wrote to the New Zealand Advertising Standards Complaints Board. But her complaints and subsequent appeals all failed.

Put out your hand and it will extend an aluminium paw to shake. Hit it and it will growl. The Sony Corp has developed a robot dog about the size of a chihuahua. It has four legs with sensors for paws, and an antenna-like tail. It also can walk and sit, and perform 40 actions in all - but the robot dog cannot learn new tricks.

The hot weather was too much for 800 shipyard men - they downed tools because supplies of drinking water on the site were not cold enough. Workers at Swan Hunter on the Tyne walked out - against union advice - after managers said they could not immediately install water chillers. They rejected a management offer of chilled bottled water in the meantime.

Fritz the German shepherd proved he is top dog at the sheriff's department at Effingham, Illinois, by being named employee of the month. One of the perks is a free lunch with the sheriff and the chief deputy. "We have not made our lunch reservations," Sheriff Ron Meek said. "We're looking for just the right restaurant."

Reviving a little-used law, the government has threatened to crack down on Egyptians employing personal bodyguards. It comes amid concerns that they are increasingly being used to settle disputes through violence. "Anyone who employs the services of bodyguards will be prosecuted and that includes actors," said officials.

The stoat has won a high-jump contest against its feral competitors at a predator "Olympics". Arranged by Victoria University animal behaviour scientists in New Zealand, the tests were used to determine the height and width of a fence for a planned city native bird sanctuary. The stoat won the high-jump with leaps up to 1.9m.

Elvis Presley should be remembered as one of America's most influencial civil rights figures, a professor and rock music historian says. "With his very first recording in 1954, Presley did something no one had ever done before," says Prof Willam McKeen, of the University of Florida. "He brought black culture and white culture together on one record."

People convicted of littering will soon have to sweep the streets in Malaysia while wearing a T-Shirt bearing the words "I am a litterbug". Housing and local government minister Ting Chew Peh said it was hoped that the public shaming would deter others. "We have come to a point where we have tried everything... but the situation remains the same," he said.

An alleged "other woman" has been ordered by a jury to pay 660,000 in damages for breaking up a marriage. "We hope this will send a message to the community and help preserve families," said Dorothy Hutelmyer's lawyer in her alienation-of-affection lawsuit against Margie Cox. A jury ordered the settlement after a case in Graham, North Carolina.

(c) 1997 Teletext. - www.Teletext.co.uk Saturday 9th August, 1997.